I often refer to myself as the unluckiest traveler in the world.
Over the past four years, I’ve been scammed, robbed and sexually assaulted, attacked by monkeys and been caught up in a tsunami. I’ve had my brakes fail as I rode down a mountain on a scooter, sat next to a dead woman, and fell in a rice paddy. I had a boat start to sink with me on board and experienced a very unhappy ending in Thailand.
But I’m still travelling.
I want to show you that travel isn’t always rainbows and sunsets and beaches and wonderful experiences. It can be challenging and stressful and bad things can happen.
These are some of my biggest and best incidents:
Getting scammed in Shanghai
Back when I had been travelling solo for just a few months, I flew to Shanghai and was scammed on my very first day. The infamous Shanghai Tea Scam is well-known — I’d even read about it in my hostel, but my scammers were so sneaky that they had me fooled from the second they approached me. What followed was an extremely expensive cup of tea, an attempt to rob me and my hand flailing in one of the girls’ faces.
Breaking the key to my friend’s apartment in Hong Kong
My lovely friend Ally allowed me to stay in her Hong Kong apartment for the week that I was there and how did I repay her? By snapping the only key to her apartment in half, trying to explain to the Chinese doorman that I needed a locksmith, by paying for a new lock and realising I didn’t have enough money – and when I went to the ATM realising that my card had been blocked.
Getting “poked” during a massage in Bangkok
I had been shopping in Bangkok with my friend Jen when we decided it would be a great idea to get an oil massage. We went with the cheapest place we could find and ended up in a shady room with some elderly women who insisted we were totally naked for the massage. Unsure if this was the protocol for Thai massages, we obliged. Half-way through the massage I found myself having a ten minute long, extremely awkward, boob massage, which was followed up with a, um, poke. Was it an accident? Did she slip? Had I just been violated? The massage ended soon afterwards
Being in Phuket during a huge Indonesian earthquake and being told a tsunami was heading our way
This was by far the scariest moment of my entire life, and it’s something that I still haven’t completely recovered from. I was due to be leaving Phuket that afternoon and as I entered the airport I was met with a huge crowd of terrified faces sprinting towards me. After much chaos and panic, I realised that there had been another enormous earthquake in Indonesia (in the same place as the devastating 2004 earthquake/tsunami) and that a tsunami alert had been issued. We were being evacuated. Over the next four hours there were tears, panic attacks, terror and a belief that I was truly about to die.
Riding down a mountain in Northern Thailand on a scooter when the brakes failed
I’d just spent a week road tripping on a scooter around remote areas of Northern Thailand and we were 50 kilometres away from finishing. After fighting to reach the top of a ridiculously steep mountain, I was horrified to see that the descent was going to be even steeper. We lasted just five minutes before a horrible smell filled my nostrils and we started careering down the side of a mountain at terrifyingly high speeds. Our brakes had failed.
Falling into a rice paddy in Bali
After spending a day cycling through the gorgeous Balinese countryside, I ended my bike ride with a walk through the rice paddies. There had been heavy rain all morning and so the combination of thick, slippery mud and my flip flops were a recipe for disaster. Within a few minutes I was screaming and falling backwards into a rice paddy.
Getting attacked by monkeys in Monkey Forest, Bali
The monkeys of Monkey Forest may look cute but they are evil, evil creatures. After picking up some drinks at a nearby shop, I happily skipped through the forest only to have monkeys leap at me and steal my drinks. When I tried to retrieve them, these hardened beasts came charging at me with determination in their eyes and a desire to sink their teeth into my leg.
Having an elderly woman die on my slow boat in Laos – and then sitting next to her for six hours
The two day slow boat through Northern Laos is supposed to be one of the most relaxing things you can ever do. When I’m on it though? That’s when a Laotian woman dies of malaria and is placed at the back of the boat, which just happened to be where I was sitting. For the next six hours I found myself sitting next to both a dead body and her grieving husband.
The night from hell: my worst 48 hours of travel
Shortly after my slow boat experience, I ended up checking into what is quite possibly the worst hostel in the world. First, I was locked out of my room and had to watch the owner hack off the door handle with a machete. Once I got into my room, the door locked behind me and I realised I had no way of getting out – I was locked inside for two hours. When somebody could finally let me out, I was moved to a room filled with hundreds of cockroaches, mosquitos, bed bugs and spiders. When a cockroach ran over my face, I chose to sleep outside on the ground instead. When a couple of backpackers arrived at the hostel at 2am and said I could stay in their room that night, I didn’t expect to end up back in the room that can’t be opened from the inside, and I didn’t expect them to try and grope me while I was sleeping.
Accidentally ending up on one of the world’s most dangerous roads in Morocco
To get to the Sahara Desert, you must first spend a day driving through the crazy roads of the Atlas Mountains, which are regularly said to be one of the top five most dangerous roads. My tour guide drove like an absolute maniac and I spent much of the day screaming and praying as he swerved wildly around corners with no barriers and regularly attempted to overtake trucks when there was no room to do so.
Cursed in Cambodia
Over the space of one month I managed to contract food poisoning, get attacked by jellyfish, had my entire body covered in pus-filled sandfly bites, caught a fish in my bikini bottoms and fell off a kerb, spraining my ankle and ripping half the skin off my knee, which then became infected. And then I poured a margarita over my brand new laptop. It was not a good month.
Vertigo in Turkey: One of the Scariest Moments of my Life
Given my terrible luck as a traveler, you’d expect me to have visited my fair share of hospitals. Fortunately, I’ve only been hospitalised once but it came at a time when I was convinced that something was seriously wrong. It was in the town of Selcuk when I woke up with the room spinning around my head. I thought I was drunk, I thought I was dizzy, and then I thought I was dying. I couldn’t see straight, I couldn’t stop throwing up, and my eyes were spinning uncontrollably in their sockets. The Turkish hospital I was sent to didn’t have anyone who could speak English, nobody could tell me what was wrong with me, and they scammed me for my travel insurance excess.
When You’re Asked for an Onward Ticket You Don’t Have
I’ve visited dozens of countries that have an onward ticket listed as an entry requirement, but had never been asked for mine. I stopped buying them, just as I was asked for mine on a flight to the Philippines.
Scammed by a Tuk-Tuk Driver in Sri Lanka
Tuk-tuk drivers are some of the shadiest people you’ll encounter on the road, but this driver in Sri Lanka took it to the extreme. After trying to convince me to get in his car with me, he then pulled over in the middle of nowhere and refused to take me to my guesthouse. When he finally agreed to drive me there, he snatched all of my money from my hand and drove off with it!
Scammed by a Guesthouse Owner in the Maldives
It was my final day in the Maldives when my guesthouse owner decided to suddenly double the price of a ferry transfer I’d taken with him a few days prior. Because I was due to leave, I didn’t have the money he was asking for…
I Lost My Passport Twice in Two Months
I was sat in the back of a pickup truck in Myanmar when I realised I’d left my passport behind in my guesthouse. What followed was one of the most stressful travel experiences of my life. How, then, did I manage to do the exact same thing two months later?
Impressive and scary list! Where was that gruesome hostel?
In Luang Prabang. The titles are links so you can click and read the whole story ;)
Hi Lauren. I’m loving your adventures! What was the name of the terrible place in Luang Prabang? I’m headed there soon!
Sorry, I don’t remember! This happened over two years ago. It was in the middle of nowhere there so I doubt you’d ever find it or stay there. There’s hundreds of places to stay at — just don’t go with any touts :-)
Wow! I have to admit that although I’ve experienced a couple of misadventures myself(or at least I though I did before reading your stories), there was nothing so spectacular. However, all these are part of life and as long as they don’t kill us, they certainly make as stronger:). I hope you’re fine now. Safe travels!
Haha. This is hysterical. Respect to you for punching your scammer!
Hahahaha, this is HILARIOUS. You’re an accident magnet :D
time to add the vertigo incident here! ;)
oh man, Lauren… you and I must complete each other in the travel world! Love these incidents — I think my readers would really enjoy a selection of your stories, are you open to me featuring you on http://www.itsoneworldtravel.com?
Hi Brandy!
It’s always good to connect with a fellow misadventurer! ;) I’d love to be featured on your site :) Feel free to email me at lauren@neverendingfootsteps.com
i’m so glad you’ve put this together a stand alone page :P
This made me day! It’s good you can look back and laugh at these things.
Hey I’m in ubud getting ready to go to fight the monkeys!! ;-) maybe the kayaking through the lake to tmrw, and oh yeah got shook down from polisi this morning for not having international drivers liscence!! $25 dollar roadside payoff!! Tourist Tax
It is illegal to drive in Bali without an international drivers license so it’s not so much a tourist tax as breaking the law ;-)
I had a friend get pulled over by the cops in Bali and had to pay a $400 fine, so $25 is pretty amazing. Count yourself lucky :-)
Wow! I still havent experienced any of that, enjoy your adventures girl. Hopefully one day no too far i will experience as many crazy things as you have. :)
You poor thing! Seems like a lot of these went down in Southeast Asia which scares me ‘cuz that’s where I’m headed next. Certainly tops my “Strangest Experiences in LA” list, but if you feel like laughing:
http://matadornetwork.com/life/the-12-strangest-experiences-since-i-moved-to-la/
Impressive list. And yet you sound positive after all! That’s nice! Good luck on your trips! :)
I don’t want to see any monkeys that are not behind think glass and/or metal bars.
Well, that’s a horrible thing to say.
Ahh! And here I thought I’d simply made a couple nice friends in Shanghai during a layover last year. I was a victim of the tea scam :)
Just found your blog today and am loving it. I’ve just finished a commercial fishing season in Alaska and have the next year or two to travel. So hard to decide where to go when you can go anywhere!
Keep it up
Ah, sorry about that, Steven! If you had a good time, though, who cares that it was a scam?! :-)
Alaska is so high on my list.
Hi, happy that you are OK, reading your posts I was worrying sick thinking of my own daughter which I thought was the clumsiest person on heart but you actually equal her LOL… good read… we are leaving soon for our family RTW and I bet we will have a lot of misadventures to tell… My daughter takes her clumsiness from me. Take care. :)
The misadventures give you an interesting story to tell :-)
Stay curious and keep scratching that itch that forms of your feet. After 16yrs of traveling and having death spit me out on a few occasions… I am still curious about everything. Hope to bump into you in this lifetime..along the way. :) Happy Trails! PS: You have mail. :))
Thanks, Priscilla! I have a lot of people surprised that I’m still traveling after having all of these incidents, but it doesn’t deter me in the slightest!
I hope you will never stop traveling, even though it may sounds weird. I love your adventures! I know they are often super crazy and super dangerous for you physical help but you have some great stories to tell!
I have no plans to stop travelling any time soon :-)
This list is amazing! I am obsessed with reading about your adventures. We have similar stories :D
Drew
Thanks, Drew!
These are just brilliant Lauren! Perfect for blogging though unfortunate at the time. I got locked in a toilet in Delhi on the top floor of a restaurant where there were no customers. When my friend finally realised, the staff tried to slowly break holes in the door before they cut to the chase and kicked it in. It was a long time to be in a tiny toilet! So I learned how to relax and just roll with it. The first time I got scammed, I took it hard, my pride was wounded. But scamming is a career for some, it’s their livelihood and they’re really good at it. Just another learning experience and probably good for it to happen to you early on!
Hahahaha! That’s amazing. Ahhh, I love that story so much.
I LOVE these stories! I can imagine how absolutely horrendous they must have been at the time but it’s so difficult not to have a little laugh about them!
I’m heading out to Thailand this summer, my first trip and much of it solo…. These just make me even more excited to go – hopefully without me experiencing the same things!
Love the website x
Thanks, Vicky! I’ve yet to meet anyone as unfortunate as me when they travel, so you should be okay! Hope you have a great trip :-)
Lauren, I’ve just discovered your blog through your post on Otres and have now discovered this page — so so so funny. The finger poke massage is my fave story, as it’s something I have a genuine fear of! It’s the reason I’ve never had a full blown Thai massage…..keep it clean, and stick to a simple foot massage in the open. Safer! L x
Absolutely, haha :-)
LOve your website, saw your video about packing on youtube, that’s how i found you. I’m English too and me and my bf are heading off round Asia-then Aus for hopefully atleast a year. Very nervous but excited. Just like you described. Reading this list made me think of all the things that went wrong on our 3 month Europe trip. Not fun at the time, and seems like it’s the end of the world, but they make a great story/learning lesson after the event. Something to tell the grandchildren as they say ha ha.
So funny i know someone who had similar story to yours of being unexpectedly touched up in a Thai massage too ha ha.Would be good if they were clear about what you were getting into eh ha ha.
I know this is a little of topic, but i saw on another post that you didnt take antimalarials in the end, just wondering if you thought it important to stay indoors in the evening or if you just covered up and slathered yourself in repellent?
I use lots of insect repellent at night and try and cover up (although usually don’t if I’m somewhere that’s crazy-hot).
Oh wow I just stumbled across your blog a couple of weeks ago and it is the (1st) blog I have ever really been interested in reading, sure I read cooking blogs mostly for the recipies, but your adventures are amazing. If only I could turn back the clock 25 years and be doing what you are doing.
How do you handle not seeing your family on a somewhat regular basis?
Mary
(travel safe)
Hi Mary,
Thanks for your kind words! I video chat through Skype with my family 2-4 times a week, and Facebook chat with my mum everyday. It’s not too hard when we get to speak regularly — it almost feels like I’m there with them!
Mary, you are never too old! Don’t use that as an excuse to stay at home!
I’m 62 & in the midst of selling off almost everything I own to take off for 10+ years ASAP. Home will be where I am. Most of the time traveling solo, but I have friends that travel regularly (66, 72, 84, 86) who will be accompanying me now & then when our destinations cross. Except for one, we don’t do hiking, but there is a lot more to do.
Get out there, girl!
I love this comment! I hope to be doing the same when I’m your age :-)
Have you ever been to Dominican Republic?
I haven’t. Not yet, anyway! :-)
I love reading these! I thought I was a bit of a magnet for a misadventure, but it all seems a bit tame after reading some of your stories!
Thanks, Courtney! That’s probably a good thing :-)
OMG! And I thought I was an unlucky person. Poor you!
Those are seriously bad and scary things that happened to you.
It’s amazing that you still dare and want to travel and that you still trust people. Kudos to you, girl!
For the most part, travel has been great for me! The pros far outweigh the cons :-)
Though you had misadventures you managed to overcome them -you keep traveling -brave you are !!!
Thanks so much, Augustine! :-)
been to Pakistan?
Nope!
So, do you just show up at these places without doing any sort of research on them whatsoever? Most, if not all, of the “incidents” you describe are not caused by bad luck or bad natives, but because you have no inkling of understanding of the culture you’ve decided to drop into. The Thai “sexual assault” story is a great indicator… you walked into a brothel, ordered a prostitute, and were offended when the prostitute did prostitutey things. 2 minutes of research would have steered you straight, but instead you choose to yell “rape”. Brilliant.
What the hell? Did you even read the post?
1) That was 100% not a brothel. I highly doubt a brothel would consist of one tiny room and two elderly ladies. If it was a brothel, why did nothing happen to my friend? If it was a brothel, why was there someone outside holding a sign advertising massages, just like everywhere else in the KSR area? If it was a brothel, would they charge $3 for an hour?
2) She was 100% not a prostitute. If she was a prostitute, why would her services include one poke that lasted for all of half a second?
3) I have never said I was raped. If you look at the comments on the post, I spend most of them arguing with the people who freaked out about the post, saying that I believe it was an accident. The only time I say anything different is when people tell me I should have relaxed and enjoyed it, because, um, no.
That’s one impressive list. The worst thing I’ve experienced so far was a hotel bed with broken springs what would dig into my back.
You’re doing much better than I am, then! :-)
Lauren reading your stories I can’t help but feel like I’m reading about myself! I too am cursed with misfortune and seem to have a knack at getting myself in bizarre situations. Unlucky enough to catch Dengue Fever in India, fall into a canal in Amsterdam and after cutting myself swimming in Turkey developed osteomylitis and almost lost my foot!
My Dad used to say, “Some people live life safely within what is normal…you are not one of those people”
If anything your experiences have given you some great stories to tell! Best of luck for future travels :)
This is an amazing list, I can’t wait to read about all your adventures! I’m so glad that you’re continuing to travel despite these incidents. Lots of travel blogs only show the good stuff and it’s really refreshing to read about ‘real’ experience. Thanks and keep going..and stay safe! x :)
Thanks so much, Lizzie! That means a lot :-)
Hi Lauren,
I found you via your fabulous guest post on Darren’s Pro Blogger.
I’ve moved toward a blogging tips blog now but in the past wrote a slew of posts similar to yours. Brilliant. LOVE your writing style and the stories you tell because I’ve had so many wacky, crazy, bizarre and even a few death-defying situations on the road, and I’ve shared ’em too, that I resonate so much with your blog.
Safe travels…..well, I guess, not too safe? LOL just joking.
Keep on inspiring and thanks for sharing the other side of travel only a few of us dare to explore.
Ryan
I can compete….. 5 weeks in SE Asia.
I had to stop someone I was travelling with from punching a local on the beach in Vietnam that had filmed them skinny dipping.
Translate and get the morning after pill for the weirdest girl in the world I met travelling in Vietnam (I then found her sitting in my bed staring at me whilst I slept a few days later…)
Go for a massage in Laos with a male friend and hear him being offered a ‘happy ending’ numerous times through the thinnest curtain in the world. (luckily he said no)
Stand on a sea urchin in Thailand and bring 4 spines home with me and now require surgery.
Drunkingly decide to prove my strength by squatting a 100kg plus Mexican army major on my shoulders, later dancing on and subsequently falling off a bar and having to be helped out of bed the next morning by 2 near strangers as I couldn’t move. (Funny that)
I’m sure there is probably more…..
Great book. I am inspired to save and make the bold move now (knowing if you can survive, thrive and have a brilliant time I might be able to as well)
Amy
Great tips Lauren! Safety and worries are of course an important consideration of the female solo traveler.
As a female solo traveler of many years myself, and a womens self defense instructor I’d like to share a safety tip of my own which I hope you and your female readers will read, remember, and share with many other women and girls far and wide.
I have been teaching Krav Maga to women and girls for over five years and we teach a very effective technique which I feel should should be in every woman and girls arsenal. We are a women only event, run by women, for women, and there is an extremely effective technique what we teach to women of all ages, which I feel we should all share as far and wide with as many others as possible.
The technique is the “groin grab” self defense technique which is to be used against a male attacker, which is now taught in many womens self defense classes, and there is actually a little trick to it…
To execute this technique, you’re going to take your hand and quickly grasp between the attackers thighs underhand. Its going to feel like you’re “cradling” the testicles. Quickly grab hold of, or snatch the testicles and dig your fingertips into the fragile skin BEHIND the scrotum. Then, once you have a good grip, you turn your hand into a vice, with your fingers digging inwards, around the back and over the top of the testicles. If you do it right, you should feel the testes INSIDE your hand which is holding the scrotum. You want, whenever possible, to hook your fingers over and around at least one testicle. One of them is enough.
Then, with your hands in a claw and your fingertips latched around the testes, you turn your hand sharply, as though you were turning a doorknob. Simultaneously, squeeze hard and pull the testicles away from his body as fast and as hard as you can. DO NOT LET GO OF THEM. This is very important. What happens then, is that your assailant usually screams out in pain and then tries to grab the wrist of your hand holding him in a futile attempt to try to get you to release him. DON’T. He then quickly loses one of the natural advantages he usually has over us (his strength) within a matter of seconds. Vomiting, curling over, collapsing and convulsing is common. Shock and unconsciousness can set in within 8 seconds. If he initially starts to fight back then you tuck your head in and keep squeezing his testicles until he faints. This only takes a matter of seconds. When he collapses, which he will, you get away to safety as quickly as possible and call for help. I’ve heard of two older women who dragged their attackers to a place of safety while holding them by the testicles. It may sound odd but testicles are so vulnerable and sensitive that this technique also works very well for women. I also like to share the story of the woman who was threatened with the words “do as I say or else…” by the younger man who attacked her, but she turned the situation around and he eventually ended up collapsing and begging her to phone the police while she maintained a tight grip on his testicles.
It’s never too late to perform this technique at any stage of an attack, and that even includes the option of reaching down if he’s on top of you, but it is easiest to do when the testicles are exposed and closest to you where you can grab hold of them. I’ve actually met several women in my life who have fought off their attackers in this way and one did it when her attacker was on top of her and raping her at the point he lost control. Don’t ever hold back. Some women scream while they are doing this, and some women think of a loved one being harmed to help overcome any bad feelings of hurting someone else even if they are being hurt themselves. Do whatever you have to do if you feel it helps.
If done properly, and done with enough force, this technique can even lead to the testicles rupturing. It’s actually easier to do than most women believe, and just about all of us have the capability to injure an attackers testicles in this way – whether we are young girls still of school age, or whether we are great grandmothers. We, as women have no part of our bodies as vulnerable as a mans testicles. After all, if you think about it testicles are just small objects of extreme vulnerability to pain squishiness wrapped in a delicate layer of skin which offers them no protection at all from this kind of counterattack by a woman. Most importantly, this fact holds true no matter what size your attacker is, nor how strong he is. And no matter how angry he is, and how much he’s threatened what he’s going to do to you, he’s going to drop. Don’t let anyone (usually men who are very uncomfortable with thoughts of women beating them in combat) try to convince you otherwise.
I once worked with a group of Somali women who informed me that grandmothers, mothers, and daughters between generations shared this powerful method of fighting off men. They even have a name for it in Somalia and they call the move “Qworegoys”. They were surprised that women in the West didn’t seem to share this information as much as they expected them to, and even more surprised that most women didn’t even seem aware of this technique.
I know that this advice would have been a difficult read for many women, but our lives are worth far more than a rapists testicles and we should be prepared to do whatever it takes to get away to safety. Please help to share this advice with as many other women and girls as far and wide as possible in any way you can help. It could one day be a life saver.
Crikey, I may just have found someone to rival my miasadventures! I’d be interested to ask lots of questions, but I’m not, I’m just going to say – A massive well done on coping with all of these incidents when you suffer from an anxiety disorder! And Hats off to you for continuing to travel and not let it and your horrendous experiences/incidents get the better of you and stop you from doing the one thing you love: Travel! I know how hard that can be!
Ha, thank you so much, Tilly! :-)
Oh Lauren! you know those ads that end with: “Don’t leave home without it!”??? I think, in your case, just don’t leave home. ;)
I’ve met people like you in my traveling days and always run screaming as soon as I spot you.
funny blog, though.
Wow…it’s not just me, then! Seriously, though, I’ve loved reading your blog and your misadventures! Good luck with your travels…
Thanks, Debbie!
Amazing and inspiring !! I am reading your book and am almost half way . Loving every bit of it.
Why have you not travelled to india or south america I was wondering .
Ah, thanks so much, Kartik! No reason why I haven’t been to either — I’m just one person with a limited amount of time. I can’t visit every single place on the planet, so there are some places I haven’t been to.
haha I totally get it , I know you must be tired of the question but I asked because the book ends with we are going to india. After finishing the book I am itching to travel somewhere will refer your blog while planning or will try to send you an email if I have questions.
Think it was Col John Blashford-Snel who said “adventure is the result of bad planning”. To this I would like to add my own rider: “boredom is the result of good planning”. Forget the planning and carry on diving right in where angels fear to dip a toe.
Thank you so much, Mike! :-)
Hi Lauren
You just scared me . I am hoping to start a solo traveling thing and mozambique is one of the that i want to explore. Please keep me out of the fright . hahahaha:)
Your stories are amazing woman.
Cheers
Don’t worry! It can seem intimidating at first, but it’s reasonably safe for solo females.
This is quite the list! I’ve definitely had my fair share of travel mistakes and misfortunes, but you have me beat :) Thanks for being so honest about them all, though. Travel isn’t always glamorous, but it is still so worth it. I hate that so many of your experiences were brought on by humans being awful humans, but I’m glad you didn’t let any of those keep you from doing what you love.
You’re a very brave girl!! Here’s wishing you happy and safe travels!!
Have an abiding dislike of monkeys as they are too much like people. Driving in Alsace when I saw a sign for La Montagne des Singes, Did not visit as I know enough French to know what to avoid for the most part.
Ha!
I stumbled across your wild and wonderful blog this morning while googling information about Belize, (where we will be heading in a few weeks) and must say, I’ve never come across a more honest travel blog and I’ve read hundreds!
You have completely ruined my plans to cross off a few items off my To Do list for today, because I can’t stop reading about your adventures and misadventures!
I’ve had hundreds of massages in Thailand and have NEVER experienced being slightly poked. I would’ve contacted the Thai tourist police and reported the incident and definitely would not have paid for being sexually assaulted.
You are extremely courageous to share your more than average “incidents”! Thankfully, you survived everything and can warn others to avoid following in a few of your missteps.
Safe future travels!