Readers often ask about my worst travel experience.
They want to know if there’s anywhere I wouldn’t return to.
It’s a fair question to ask. After 15 years of travel, I’ve had more than my fair share of mishaps and misadventures, scams and thefts, near-death experiences and terrible illnesses, but it’s rare for me to swear off a place entirely.
After all, I’m aware that so many of our bad travel experiences are a result of bad timing, bad decisions, or simply being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Catching cholera in Borneo doesn’t mean I’m going to have the exact same experience on any of my subsequent visits (at least, I very much hope not!).
But there is one place.
When I think long and hard about the most traumatising destinations I’ve visited, there’s one place that still makes me recoil.
Monkey Forest in Bali.
When I first stepped foot on Bali, I’ll confess to being excited about visiting Ubud’s Monkey Forest.
I thought it sounded fun.
And sure, I’d heard all the dramatic stories, from friends, travel bloggers, and reviewers online. I knew the the inhabitants of Monkey Forest were ruthless: they were known for stealing sunglasses, snatching snacks, tugging out earrings, and even running off with tourists’ phones.
There was one rule for entering Monkey Forest: do not bring your valuables.
And if you want to attract as little attention as possible, don’t bring any food, either. Don’t bring anything that might smell of food. And definitely don’t bring any bags that look like they might contain food.
They’ll be out of your hands before you can say, wait, do I need to get rabies shots now?
After arriving in Ubud, then, I knew exactly where I wanted to go first.
Dave and I dropped our bags to the floor, took only our cameras and phones, and made our way over to Monkey Forest. I had no idea what to expect.
Would it be exciting? Would it be terrifying? Would it turn out to be wildly overhyped? There was only one way to find out.
Inside, it was… fine.
Actually, it was more than fine. The forest was beautiful, with shaded paths, towering trees, and moss-covered statues peeking out through the greenery. It felt calm in a way that I hadn’t been expecting, especially given the reputation.
The monkeys were everywhere, of course, but most were far from aggressive. Some lounged across paths, others groomed each other in the trees, babies clung to their mothers’ backs, and a few stared at passing tourists with an unsettling level of confidence.
There were troublemakers, too.
Tourists squealed as monkeys leapt to their shoulders or attempted to unzip their backpacks. I watched from a safe distance, uncomfortable but amused. It quickly became clear that as long as I stayed far enough away, the monkeys had little interest in me. I kept my arms crossed, my pockets zipped, and my body language firmly in the please-ignore-me category.
Half an hour later, I was starting to enjoy the scenes in the forest. Tourists were laughing at the monkeys’ hijinks, nobody was getting hurt, and it felt like a chaotic but harmless spectacle.
I started to relax.
Which, in hindsight, was my first mistake.
Over the next few days, I barely thought about Monkey Forest at all. I was too busy learning how to surf, cycling through rice paddies, kayaking across a volcanic lake, and wandering aimlessly through Ubud’s backstreets. I was falling hard for the town, and its primate residents were something I no longer considered. In my eyes, they were a novelty for tourists, nothing more, nothing less.
Which is why, on one sunny afternoon, I didn’t think twice about taking a shortcut through the forest to my guesthouse.
I walked alone, light and relaxed, the sun warming my shoulders. Birds chirped in the trees, the scent of frangipani floated through the air, and at that moment, Ubud felt like paradise. I paused for a few seconds to soak it all in, then kept walking.
I wound my way between the towering trees, dappled sunlight flickering across the ground. The forest felt calm, and I was looking forward to getting back to see Dave.
Movement.
I blinked and spun around.
For a moment, I wasn’t sure if I’d imagined it. I squinted into the foliage, but there it was again. A flash. A shadow slipping between the trees.
Small, fast, and unmistakably grey.
I froze.
Oh no.
The thud reverberated in my ears as a large monkey dropped from a branch to the ground, five metres away from me.
Oh no, oh no, oh no.
And there it stood before me, solid and unmoving, with a face that looked almost human in nature. Its eyes were dark and unblinking; fixated on me with a look that made my skin prickle.
I watched as the monkey lowered itself closer to the ground, muscles tensing beneath its fur, fingers flexing against the ground. I could tell that it was fast enough to reach me in seconds. Strong enough to hurt me if it chose to.
I couldn’t move.
Every story I’d heard about Monkey Forest came rushing back to me like a warning siren. The ambushed tourists, the weeks of rabies shots, the theft of valuables, the ruthlessness of the monkeys.
I didn’t know what to do and I was starting to panic.
I shook my head. This was ridiculous. I wasn’t doing even anything wrong. I wasn’t carrying food, I didn’t have any valuables on me, I hadn’t made eye contact — well, except with him. I was following the rules.
I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, weighing up my options, feeling the weight of the plastic bag in my hand.
And then I looked down.
Oh no.
In an instant, the world snapped back into focus, like waking up from a dream. It was like I blinked and suddenly this was my reality, fully-formed and irreversible. I didn’t remember deciding to do this. I didn’t remember thinking it was a good idea. I was just… here.
Standing in Monkey Forest.
Holding a plastic bag.
Doing the one thing I was absolutely not supposed to do.
Inside the bag? A single bottle of Sprite. It was Dave’s favourite drink and I’d picked one up for him as a gift on the way home.
I hadn’t even thought about what I was carrying when I’d turned a corner and entered Monkey Forest.
Dave and I had taken this shortcut countless times while we’d been in Ubud. The trail we follow runs along the outskirts of the park, and we’d yet to see a monkey hanging out around there. Sightings were such a rarity that I’d almost forgotten the route was even part of Monkey Forest.
I hadn’t been thinking. A last-minute purchase, a muscle-memory walk, and here I was, in deep trouble.
I looked at the monkey.
It looked back at me.
Now what?
“Go away!” I suddenly bellowed in its direction. “Raaarrggggghhhhhhh!“
It twitched. Success?
I doubled down on my growling, losing all inhibitions in a desperate attempt to protect a bottle of Sprite.
“Go away, monkey! Argh! Raaaaargh! Leave me alone. Go away! Go away!”
This, I was about to learn, is not a recommended strategy for a repelling a monkey.
Instead of backing off, it turned its focus towards the plastic bag in my hand. Every instinct screamed at me to self-preserve: drop the bag, run, move, but it turns out my fight-or-flight response is freeze, so I stood there uselessly instead.
He lunged at me in a blur, and it happened so fast my mind couldn’t catch up. The bag torn, the bottle rolling, and for a moment, my world seemed to flip upside down. I wondered why my legs no longer seemed to work.
My eyes darted wildly around as I tried to gather my thoughts. Several metres away, my nemesis was attempting to open the bottle of Sprite.
“That’s not for you,” I wailed, as though he could understand. As though he’d listen to reason.
I pictured arriving back at my guesthouse empty handed, explaining to Dave that I’d bought him a drink but due to my own stupidity it was currently being consumed by a monkey. It sounds so trivial to be upset over a bottle of Sprite, but I’d wanted to see the joy on his face when I surprised him with it.
I wanted to get him that drink.
And so, I narrowed my eyes and glared at this monkey, suddenly full of white-hot rage, absolutely livid that he was trying to take this gift away from me. How dare you, I thought, clenching my teeth together.
I began to growl again — at this point, it was now a full-on war cry — and started to stamp my feet on the ground with much force as I could muster. I was going to terrify this monkey into submission.
That was the plan, anyway.
But this monkey was hardened. He was hardened from a lifetime of encounters far more brutal than a small travel blogger tap-dancing in front of his face.
To my horror, he opened his jaw as wide as he could, revealing a sharp set of yellow teeth as long as my fingers. And then he charged. Charged at full-speed towards me, hissing loudly into the humid Bali air.
I was going to die.
The end of my life flashed before me in a series of images:
The monkey sinking his teeth into my leg.
The brutal infection.
The amputation.
Sepsis.
Rabies.
Me foaming at the mouth.
In an instant, my survival instincts kicked in, and I bolted. Disaster struck immediately when my flip-flops slid out from under me, sending me skidding along the pavement. This was it. The cool, mossy ground felt oddly calming for a situation that can only be described as my last moments on earth.
I started dragging myself along the ground, wincing as sharp rocks tore at my skin. My palms burned with every desperate movement, until my arms gave out completely.
I let out a single, broken sob.
It was over.
I squeezed my eyes shut, gritted my teeth, and waited for the pain.
A few seconds passed. Then several more.
Uh…
I cracked one eye open, terrified for what I was about to see.
… and nothing.
It had gone.
I sat up and scanned my surroundings just to make sure.
My Sprite?
Also gone.
“Well,” I muttered to myself. “That didn’t go to plan.”
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Glad to see that you made it out alive! Monkeys are the most overrated animal. Nothing but jerks, that lot.
Haha, thanks, Ryan! You know, you think they look cute when you’re watching them from a distance, and then they threaten you with a bite for a Sprite.
Where everyone else will squeal and go “Monkeys are adorable!!” (Re: Paul Frank) I will insist they are scary scary scary HIDEOUS evil little creatures.
You’re so brave, glad you made it out alive.
I’m a convert to your point of view, Carmen! Never again will I view those monkeys with anything other than suspicion.
Watch out for those monkeys! This post gave me a laugh as it reminded me of the adventures that I had with the monkeys in Nepal – they can be so crafty, creeping up on you, trying to steal your food. Its scary as they are such smart creatures!
An absolute nightmare! I’ve definitely learned my lesson about going anywhere near a monkey when I’ve got food/drink/valuables with me!
“a small girl tapdancing near his face” LOL.I can’t stop laughing when I picture that scene :p
But the monkeys in Monkey Forest are much better than in Sangeh. Those are criminals, they would snap ear rings, necklace and other valuable stuffs. Robbers :(
In that case, I’m particularly glad that I didn’t get to experience the ones in Sangeh :-)
I was completely terrified the entire time I was at the Monkey Forest. I tried to stay in as far from the perimeter as possible at all times and never sat down. A monkey jumped onto my friend’s shoulders and I proceeded to freak out as she sat calmly. I’m not sure what I would’ve down had one actually touched me. I feel for you.
Oh, Amanda! I don’t know that I could have handled one climbing all over me, either. Do you need rabies shots after that? Haha. I’m so relieved I didn’t get bitten.
I had a similar story in the forest North of Bangkok. Know what you feel, Lauren :) Glad it didn’t get you :)
I’ve heard that the monkeys in Thailand as just as bad as the ones here in Bali, although I’ve yet to encounter those ones yet. (And fingers crossed I never will!)
He he! I am going to compare them next year :)
This is hilarious! I was there in Ubud a few months ago and I was so paranoid with my camera. I had my wife act as armed guard when I changed lenses for fear they’d run away with my bag! Great post!
There are so many dramatic stories about the monkeys at Monkey Forest that it seems like the best tactic is to take absolutely nothing with you. Nothing is off-limits when it comes to their thieving!
Oh god Lauren I was laughing so much at this. Your life makes me happy x
Isn’t it the most ridiculous story? I’m glad I could make you laugh!
My now 24-year-old daughter still remembers those Ubud monkeys (or their mothers) checking her shorts for bananas when she was 4.
For bananas! Haha. Having now experienced the monkeys for myself, I am fully sympathetic to her trauma.
Thanks for sharing the dark side of the monkey forest. It’s a funny story since it worked out alright :)
The worst travel experiences make for the best stories (I tell myself through tears)
There are monkeys running amok in Granada too, and one of my friends got peed on by one. Hey, at least they didn’t pee on you!
There’s always somebody worse off! Haha :-)
Man why does this stuff always happen to you?! These are fun to read but I don’t understand how you get yourself into these messes! :)
Hopefully the monkeys enjoyed your Sprite!
You know, I really don’t know! I’m sure some it comes down to a lack of common sense, but I do still seem to run into bad luck on an alarmingly frequent basis!
I’m still traumatised from the time I was in Bali, age six, and a monkey stole my peanuts. You see, back in the 80’s, we used to buy peanuts from a stall and feed the monkeys. The peanuts were sold to tourists specifically for this purpose. I don’t think they do that anymore?
And now they have started expecting humans to be carrying food for them… I can’t see how those two activities are linked at all, haha :-)
What a crazy experience! Glad to see you’re ok though. Now I know to be more cautious if I’m near a group of monkeys! Thanks for sharing this and these pictures.
Thanks, Josh. I wish I’d taken those warnings more seriously, that’s for sure. I hadn’t anticipated those monkeys being quite so determined to get their hands on my things!
this was a funny post! can i ask who dave is? he is mentioned in a lot of posts but we looked through your site and couldn’t work out who he was.
Dave is my boyfriend :-)
A friend of mine had a terrible experience with the Monkey Mafia at Uluwatu…
She allowed this little terrorist to sit on her lap, despite warnings from us…
As she cooed at it, it bared its teeth at her…STUPIDLY assuming it was smiling at her, she bared her teeth back..
With the speed of lightning, it reached into her mouth & stole her top false teeth!!!!!
She didnt get them back!
Carol! This is one of most horrifying (and hilarious) stories! And now I’m picturing a monkey with a row of human teeth roaming around Bali.
Lauren, I am thoroughly enjoying reading your ‘incidents’! I came across your page whilst searching for ‘what to pack in my back pack’ as I am sure I need about 10! You are so funny… my favorite so far was your ‘Bangkok massage’ although I am sure it was not yours! I hope I will have as many exciting stories as you to tell !!!
Hi Vicky! I’m so glad to hear you’ve been enjoying digging through my archives and hope you end up with your own set of funny stories to tell at the end of your adventure (although maybe with a few less traumatising ones!)
A terrifying but funny story all in one, it’s good to know that nothing too bad eventuated from it. The story sounds like the perfect travel story to tell to a few friends at a bar.
Thanks, Steve! It’s definitely a story I enjoy bringing out when friends ask about the worst moments from my travels!
Hahaha, o my. I know these monkeys! Vicious! They have relatives in Pushkar India, and Batu Caves Malaysia!
Noted down as places to avoid in the future! :-)
Great story, I was terrified of those monkeys in Ubud, and I didn’t even know they would bite!
Right?! It was genuinely terrifying to see just how sharp its teeth were and just how furious it looked. I feel very lucky that it didn’t decide to bite in the end.
interesting story as I got bitten by hand by a young monkey in Ubud’s Monekey forest as well.
Also got attacked by another monkey (big one this time) while taking pictures.. they tend to become aggressive when you expect less.
Hey Alex. I’m sorry to hear you had a similar experience to me.
This is such a great travel story, and I’m glad you made it out okay! I’ve been attacked by monkeys too- I was in South Africa, they had gotten into my friend’s lodge in a place we were staying at, they were throwing bananas and eggs around… when I tried to escape, one of them jumped on my leg and scratched me- I ended up getting rabies shots in SA and when I got home to NY! Now I find it hilarious, but then it was frightening!
Oh man, that’s quite the dramatic travel story, Monica! I’m loving picturing them chucking bananas and eggs all over the place and generally causing chaos.
Great story and well told. I’ve fortunately managed to survive passage through the Monkey Forest unscathed quite a few times, but have been attacked at the Monkey Temple near Permuteran, Bali and near the White Sand Beach. Amazing how big those canine teeth are when they come chomping at you in attack mode.
Seriously! I wish I had a photo of the one that bared its teeth at me because it was unlike anything I’d seen before!
You cant get mad at such cute little animals.
There was nothing cute about those enormous teeth!
I visited Monkey Forest whilst I was in Bali in December, and the short cut from our hotel to town was by the side of the monkey forest. All I can say is – never go near monkeys with a plastic bag, drinks or food – they will have them off you in a heart beat! Also, never try and hiss or stamp your feet at a monkey – have you seen their teeth!?
Hehe – great story xx
I saw those teeth immediately after I hissed and stamped my feet at them and it was terrifying, haha.
Hi Lauren,
Thank you for sharing this story. I’ve had a similar situation in the Monkey Forrest. One of the monkeys attacked my girlfriend, while the group was having a naive laugh about it, she was truly shaken. Later, when we arrived at the villa, we realised that it wasn’t naive nor funny at all, and we contacted the medic since she got a nasty cut on her hand. She had to take anti-rabies treatment and it kind of ruined our stay at that time. But we weren’t going to allow it to ruin our impression of Bali, so we went again next year and it was perfect. Hope your misfortune did not ruin your view of Bali.
Wishing you all the best in your future travels.
Hey Liam. Thanks for sharing that story here. As much as we’re all laughing away at my dramatic mishap, things could have been a lot worse, and there are risks that come from spending time with these monkeys. It doesn’t help that rabies treatment involves getting so many jabs, all on different days, so you have to spend so much time visiting clinics to get the next dose.
I’m sorry to hear that first experience was so traumatising for your girlfriend, but glad you could successfully complete a do-over the following year. I’ve since returned to Bali multiple times and had an amazing time on every visit. I will confess that I have yet to step foot in Monkey Forest since this incident, though!
There is nothing any human can do to a monkey unless they have a weapon. I am 6 1 and weigh 245 and I would never play around with a monkey. First, a monkey is like 2 to 3 times quicker than any human. I offered a monkey in India a peanut with my right hand, and before I knew it, he had taken the whole bag of peanuts out of my left hand. I had no time to react, the bag was gone. Let us say that I somehow managed kick the monkey, I don’t really win anything. Its just monkey. I am a human. He is just following his instincts. So I can’t really hold him accountable.
You have to hand over anything to the monkey and just get out of the situation without being bit or scratched. Both no doubt lead to some type of shot.
So this is just a consolation that women or man, small or big, I don’t think it matters. Perhaps a local Balinese person knows how to deal with them. But again, I don’t know what can be done against their speed and quickness advantage.
Hi Shaun! I fully agree with you about the risks of spending time with monkeys… and that there’s very little that we can do to protect ourselves, aside from making sure not to carry anything on our person. The best tactic, though, is to steer clear.
I had a similar experience in Kenya while I was sleeping in a reserve. They were all over the tents which were luxury tents, and you couldn’t sleep either. If you went to the toilet, they where there lol
Ah, how intimidating, Maya! I’m not sure I could go to the toilet with a bunch of monkeys hanging around!